Cooling my jets

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One of the fine lines I walk for my mental health is the line between caring too little and caring too much.

You, too?

There’s something so intoxicating about worrying. I’m drawn to its intensity.

Worrying can feel essential, noble, productive.

It’s also excellent at absorbing my attention and restless energy.

When I’m worrying about something specific, I cannot worry about all the rest.

Worrying offers some kind of unhinged mental retreat from its alternative: letting go.

Why is letting go so terrifying?

America Ferrera’s brilliant monologue in the Barbie movie comes to mind, in the way that breaking free from worry requires recognising its inherent cognitive dissonance.

We’re encouraged to worry — about the state of the world, the future — but also to stay calm and not panic.

We must care about climate change, but not to the extent we lean into public activism. Just recycle (quietly), or something.

We should worry about our kids, but also just let them be kids. Don’t helicopter, but don’t let your attention slip for a second, because being a parent is the most important job in the world. But don’t ask for support, because they are your kids, and you chose to have them, OK?

Maybe I’m missing the point

Maybe the point is not to stop worrying about the important stuff. Maybe the point is to stop worrying about what other people think of you.

Because you’ll be judged no matter what.

Maybe letting go is actually about giving yourself grace to take up space, make noise, make mistakes, change your mind… to cool your jets.

Ways I’m learning to let go and keep my cool

As someone who is prone to, er, emotional meltdowns from time to time, I’ve developed quite the toolbox to help me fend off frenetic energy.

The things that help me the most are almost infuriating in their simplicity.

  • Drink a glass of cold water

  • Go for a walk outside

  • Lie down and stare at the ceiling

  • Step away from all screens

  • Eat a piece of fresh fruit

  • Prepare some food: chop, slice, dice

  • Listen to music

  • Call a friend

  • Take a shower

And, above all:

  • Let go of it always needing to make sense

And the biggest benefit of all this cooling-of-jets? You also get to break free from the vice-like grip of Other People’s Opinions. And if that’s not the opposite of frantic energy, I’m not sure what is.